Signs that your boss hates you include:
- Leaving you out of important meetings
- Never providing you with positive feedback
- Never providing you with feedback at all
- Refusing raises for little to no reason
- Always overlooking you for promotions
- Rarely if ever engaging in small talk with you as they would with other office workers
Guess what though?
Hate is a strong word. It’s just more than likely that the two of you haven’t been able to connect in the right way yet and this kind of thing takes a combination of time and effort to fix.
Through the use of professional coaching and professional coaching techniques, you can get back onto the right side of your boss again, even if you think that your boss hates you. It’s all about learning more about yourself and them in the process.
WHY YOUR BOSS HATES YOU-GAINING VALUABLE INSIGHT
If you genuinely believe that your boss hates you and you want to alter their perspective, it’s time for you to learn about one of the most valuable coaching resources possible. Personality insights.
Without further ado, let’s dive into what each one represents:
Do you find your boss a little “cold” or not very socially adept? If this is the case then they’re likely an observer/co-ordinator type.
These individuals are usually very fact based and analytical. Their mind is constantly whirring and diving into the how and why behind everything in front of them. They’re well organised, structured and often very set in their ways with processes.
Though these people might not always come across as the most warming of characters, ultimately, they just want everything to be done in whatever they believe the right way is. They’re sticklers for process.
Be honest with yourself, do you work with your bosses processes religiously or go against them? If you support an observer/co-ordinator with their process management whilst displaying a passion and interest in doing things “properly”. You’re likely to stay on their good side.
Don’t forget to ask them how to do things more like them too, they’ll value this question!
Director/motivator types can be calm and reserved one minute then comparable to a missile detonation the next. They are usually the most driven, focused and passionate people you’re ever likely to meet when it comes to goal attainment and forward movement.
The downside to this is that they often don’t have much by the way of a social filter. They’re excellent at taking immediate action and being decisive in the moment without overthinking, but this also steeps into their communication. Often, they’ll say exactly what they feel or think at any given time.
It’s important to understand that this isn’t personal. There’s actually a lot to be respected about their drive and commitment and they’re some of the hardest working, genuinely fun people you’ll ever meet when you get to know them.
If you can look past their lack of thought at times when they’re speaking and identify that they are the way they are because they actually care a great deal about succeeding, you’ll be able to start building bridges with them if they’ve upset you in the past. Show a passionate interest in achieving targets and ask them for tips. They’re likely to appreciate this.
Helper/supporter types are usually very easy to get along with (as are inspirer/motivators) and are often very emotionally lead. They value interpersonal relationships a great deal and are typically very empathetic communicators.
With this in mind, if you’ve seen these traits in your line manager but you still believe that your boss hates you then it’s incredibly likely that they’ve been negatively emotionally impacted by you in some way. Can you remember a time when you might have said or done something that could have made them feel bad or hurt their feelings? Or even worse, made them feel like you don’t care?
Maybe you simply haven’t said enough to them? Because helper/supporters value relationships so much, creating distance can be one of the worst things you can do if you want to be on their good side. Start asking them about themselves more often and take a genuine interest in their wellbeing and personal life when the opportunities to ask arise. This is the key to their heart.
Inspirer/Motivators know how to bring energy. They’re typically very upbeat, highly sociable and are pretty much able to communicate easily with almost anybody they meet. They also usually like people that are similar to them. This isn’t always crucial, but it can help.
As with a helper/supporter, it can be difficult to genuinely upset an inspirer/motivator but if you find that you’ve somehow managed to do this and you’re convinced that your boss hates you it might actually have nothing to do with work. Because inspirer/motivators are so upbeat and energetic, they can struggle with people who are the opposite.
If you’ve been broadcasting negativity by criticising aspects of your company openly or you’re more of a reserved, quiet type by nature. It’s very likely that you won’t have been emitting the kind of frequencies that an inspirer/motivator really thrives off.
Try to be as positive, upbeat energetic and engaging as you can around an individual like this and they’re sure to warm to you in no time at all. This is the kind of behaviour that really makes them tick.
YOUR BOSS HATES YOU BECAUSE THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU
Fundamentally, if you think that your boss hates you it’s probably just because they don’t understand you and you don’t understand them.
Keep in mind that most people are a combination of two personality types. The most common combinations are director/motivator and inspirer, helper/supporter and inspirer/motivator, director/motivator and observer/co-ordinator and observer/co-ordinator and supporter/helper.
This is why you should strongly consider engaging in some professional coaching sessions to try to determine precisely what kind of person (and which combination of personality types) you are.
When you know yourself, regardless of whether or not your boss hates you you’ll be able to understand why based on their personality type and how yours perhaps isn’t in alignment with theirs.
All you need to do then is master the art of becoming a “rainbow” and adapting your personality to be able to match the person in front of you. Again, this is something that professional coaching will help with.
Share your experiences with bosses in the comments section below and tell us all about what you’ve done to build bridges with a line manager in the past!